Sunday, May 26, 2013

Blog In May: Day 26

Today's prompt:
Something you read online. Leave a link and discuss, if you'd like.

I had a hard time not spilling the beans on this one last night while Norma and I were discussing a similar (but different) topic. I'm a firm believer that what people do in their own bedrooms is their own business. However, when you put your private information "out there", then it becomes free game for discussion. And speculation and gossip. Though in this particular case I believe the couple in question had that particular motive in mind when allowing this story to be made public:

Hrm. Let's assume that these two are sincere in their spiritual pretext. Just for the sake of discussion. On the one hand we can be sure (from the information given) that at least they got married because they genuinely love each other. Oftentimes young people mistake lust for love and good for them not falling into that trap. Another "good" point for them, they are in it together. Presumably. Darla was the only one quoted in the article, so there is an inkling of doubt on that fact. Let's assume, though, that they are in agreement on this and that they are doing it for spiritually based reasons... I have to question how healthy this behavior is and how long it can possibly go on. Let's say they do manage to stay together and keep up this sexual avoidance (let's be honest, 25 months is not that long) then eventually they're going to start avoiding intimacy altogether because the "breaking off" is going to become too frustrating and not worth the lead-up. That's the best case scenario. More likely one of them is going to break leading to bitterness or cheating and/or divorce. That's not even the worst case possibility. Let's say they are both deeply spiritually committed to what they're trying to do and they both break!? Given the ferocity of religious zealots (which, let's be honest, they're right on that line) I don't think that a bloody end is out of the question.

That's assuming that they're both being completely honest. It occurs to me, however, that this maintaining abstinence even after marriage stems from somewhere other than a desire to be "holy". I think they're afraid. Not of hell because sex after marriage is one of the few things Christians seem to agree on. I think they're afraid of having sex, and what happens after. Or what could happen after. Or, at least she is. Since she was the only one quoted. As I said, I believe in "to each their own", but the entire article has an overwhelming aura of wrongness to me. Is it just me? Am I imagining the manipulative undertones? Do you think they're sincere or is there something else going on here? Are they on the right track or are they more likely doomed to failure?

Misgivings aside, at least they're not contributing to the overpopulation epidemic like those 'quiverfull' folks, eh? hrm... Anyway, try to be respectful in your responses. We can question their direction and motives without slamming them. Can't we? lol Or, hey, maybe you agree with what they're trying to do. That's okay, too.

Tomorrow's prompt:
A letter to your readers

Aw *hearts*


  1. Ok this is just bizarre.... he eats an entire raw potato to take himself out of the mood???
    What?!?! I am not religious and I'm not 100% sure about the whole reason of no sex before marriage stuff but this seems very unnecessary? Why are they doing this? Abstaining from sex after marriage doesn't make you any more pious...
    Anyways, what manipulative undertone do you think the article has?

    1. I'm not sure, exactly. I don't know where it was published, but it seems like it wouldn't have been published at all if someone didn't think "hey, this is a good idea". Perhaps to bring more attention to the Christian faith, or even just make Christians think about their own behavior more closely? It is, as you said, bizarre. I think you may have hit the nail on the head, though. It may not 'make' them pious, but that's exactly the word I was looking for. It's like they want to feel pious compared to other Christians. I've never heard the raw potato thing either; in fact, I've always been warned against eating raw potato for reasons I don't even remember anymore. lol It does boggle the mind, doesn't it?

    2. Aahhh I see what you mean, yea it kind of felt like they are saying hey look at these guys, setting such good examples!
      Yea I doubt eating potatoes is a wise thing to do.... must taste horrible, it could probably take your mind off of anything......

    3. LOL I bet you're right there. I've eaten small slivers of raw potato and it wasn't fantastic. Couldn't imagine eating a whole one raw...

    4. Hehe I'm weird - I don't enjoy eating whole raw potatoes but I have eaten lots of slivers over the years and enjoy the taste :)

      Interesting Lizzy and I can't help agree on the 'we're holier than YOoouuuu' vibe. Which, when you think about it, is pretty bragging and elitist. Not very Christian, is it ;)

  2. *reads post* *blinks* Dwhhhaaa?! o_O
    I don't get it. Like seriously, I just don't get it. (hehe and looking at my puzzled smiley, a red spell check squiggly line is under the small o making it look like one of the eyes is twitching. It's so fitting).

    I thought the whole idea that a sexless marriage was 'double holy' was ridiculous but also a very childish way to phrase that but I'm focusing on small things now.

    Onto the bigger issue - you're right this IS right up there with what we talked about the other night (kudos to you for the self restraint!). I don't see how this can last. Just my 2 cents of course! But sex is natural. Biologically it's ingrained in us and their religion is perfectly fine with sex after marriage. I don't understand what they hope to achieve by never having sex.

    And they've been together 3 years (dating + marriage) and when they kiss that gets them so randy they have to run off and spray themselves with water/eat potatoes and such?! Well if it's that bad now I think it'd only get worse as time goes on.

    I think they are trying to mould themselves to a radical idea of perfection and people are not perfect. They are inherently flawed so I just don't see how this could work. It may work now, it may work for years after but I agree with what you've said - eventually one will break or both will. Eventually they will avoid affectionate contact because that will make them want to have sex.

    I think to each their own when it comes to marriage, and if this makes them happy good for them! But I couldn't imagine an affection-less marriage (no intimacy at all - hugging snuggling etc). I could see them winding up in a roomates only type of marriage and I just don't see the point of that...

    1. I think you make a good point. Perhaps she was caught off guard, but "double holy" does have a ring of childishness to it. Also elitist. I can understand people taking a vow of celibacy, but those people are often more like monks, not getting married and devoting their lives to their religion. It could be a challenge for them, but if that's the case the publicizing it for the world to know when/if they fail doesn't seem smart either.... I don't know. I hope the best for them, even if I can't fathom what "the best" would be for them. Of course, there's a devious part of me that hopes that if they are just being elitist and rubbing in everyone's face how "holy" they are... that I get to read about it when they slip. ;) Lofty goals aren't bad, but I just can't stomach arrogance. lol

    2. Agree! I find arrogance sooooo intolerable. I do think there was a ring of 'I'm holier than you!' and if I'm right, I think karma will rightfully fix that arrogance.

  3. All I can really say is, Wow! What?? I don't get how she could think that not having sex after marriage is double holy. 1 Corinthians 7:5 (I googled it, but I knew it was in there) says "Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control". This is in reference to sex between a husband and a wife. I think they are just being pious.

    1. Oh my goodness, thank you! That's exactly the perspective I was missing. I would have asked my mom but she gets a bit long-winded talking about the Bible and I can only take so much. I felt like maybe there was something in there about post-marital relations, but wasn't sure.


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