Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Wedding

Yay pictures! Ok, here's what I'm going to do. The bride's "big day" was Friday and it was all about her. Since this is my blog it's going to be all about me. lol Gonna start with a little history of my previous weddings, go through this one and then finish off with my rant about why I hate weddings. Which you are free to skip if you want. I'll let you know when it's coming. All set? On with the show!

The first wedding I was in was my aunt's. My cousin and I were all of maybe 4 or 5. She got to be flower girl, I was the ring bearer. *shrugs* I don't remember it at all, just that my mom told me that much about it. When my other aunt got married we were in Germany and only my youngest sister got to go because two of us were in school. No big deal, we got to spend a week with daddy and had a blast. Fast forward 10 years into the future to my wedding! We got married down at the courthouse and my parents and his sister were there. A couple of years later one of Aaron's friends got married and he was the best man. I didn't go and he didn't guilt me about it (nobody went to ours and I was a bit bitter about that at the time). Then: The Bomb. Another of Aaron's friends got married and he was the best man again. This was the most boring, self-indulgent mess I have ever been a part of. Seriously, just the ceremony was over an hour long. The bride? Such a bitch. And everything had to be so "perfect" that she didn't care that all of the groomsmen were already attached (us women-folk being relegated to the back table so she didn't have to think about it), she just had to have her little "wedding party dance" where the (attached) groomsmen had to awkwardly dance with her single bridesmaids to some overly saccharine country song. On the bright side I got to sit with the other girls (and the groom's parents, if you can imagine the gall) and the five of us got to be little catty bitches for the duration of the reception. Hey, no one heard us. We were in the back. The groomsmen? Up at the big table. Can you imagine?! I bring all of that up because this wedding was nothing like that.

Ok, so if you've been keeping up you know the part where we got a bit of a late start. There was some issue with the venue and we had to wait for that to be taken care of. Finally around 4:30pm I got the text. "Heading out to set up". Okie dokie, I'm on my way! I haven't been to BLORA (the entire recreational area surrounding Belton Lake) during the day in years, but I had the gist of it. Head out like we're going to Aaron's sister's house and turn at the BLORA sign. Easy peasy, right? Sorta. After that turn I kept going and going and going and sure enough I passed the second turn. :p Went back, got in and OMG the pavilion was so far in I thought I was lost. I wasn't, though. lol I get up there and am immediately put in charge of decorating so Tammy (the bride) and Taylor (maid of honor) can go get ready. O_o For reals? Yeah, for reals. It wasn't too bad setting up, just that it was so hot! Seriously 101 at least. So I'm running around trying to get people to help with tablecloths and centerpieces (they all did really well, just that I'm not good at telling people what to do) and getting a bit frazzled and dehydrated. I feel so bad because this girl showed up (I'll have her picture later) and she helped so much and I can't remember her name! Then Nichole (the other bridesmaid) showed up and helped me get into my dress.....

Or, rather, tried to. The freakin' zipper broke. Like, totally broke. And I was so sweaty I thought it would slide right on. No luck. We finally got the dress to an acceptable working level, Tammy and Taylor showed up and the wedding commenced.

That's the view of Belton Lake from the pavilion. So big and pretty. We were up on a hill so it was even nicer.

That's Spanky, the officiator. He was really awesome and hilarious. Since it was over 100degrees he was kind enough to write up the short-version. Tammy didn't mind (she was ready for it to be over days ago) so we were all spared an hour of sweaty malarky. Short and sweet, but not rushed. No, it was very lovely and heartfelt.

There we all are as the ceremony is underway. The arrow on the left is me and the one on the right is Taylor's mom who not only catered the event, but also took a great many pictures. She's an awesome lady.

And the kiss. Aw. hehehehe

There's the groomsmen. David (the groom) flew his dad (the best man!) in from California. :)

And the ladies. The two not-brides in white were the flower girls. The older one was also very helpful setting up.... I can't remember her name either. :/ I know, I suck so bad at names!

Yay cake! By this point I was finally wrestled out of my rigged dress and sitting off on the side with Nichole and her mom. Guess what? No assigned seating at this event. :p

I do think there was a bit of face-cake mushing, but I really liked this picture.

Aw. The happy couple. May they have many years of wedding bliss in the future!

Ok, now for Lizzy's "thank yous" portion.

Arrow on the left is me, arrow on the right is the girl that came in and took charge. Seriously, a life saver. She also fixed my dress by tracking down a safety pin and borrowing a cover-thingy from:

This lovely woman. Who I later found out is Tammy's aunt. I think she may have been the one helping me set up the cake and.... other table with the guest book and bubbles and such, but I'm not 100% on that. I was pretty dehydrated by that point. I do know she had a sheer cover thingy that saved me from having to wear my t-shirt over my dress so Thank You! again.

Ever think to yourself "gee, it really is a small world"?

She was my 9th grade German teacher. Yes, for reals. At least... I think it was 9th grade. My memories of German class and where and when each one took place are a bit fuzzy. Cuz I know Sandy and I had the same teacher at some point, I just don't know if we had the same teacher at the same time and that's kind of important because back then 9th grade was in it's own building and she was a grade behind me. Confusing enough? Let's move on.

There I am again. Sitting with Nichole and her mom who is another super awesome lady. :) Once the guests started to depart for either home or the reception I started helping with clean up. I didn't start it (oh no, not gonna start cleaning up early, wait for someone else to start) but I stayed until it was complete. BLORA is kind of part of Ft Hood and I know how persnickity those military folk get when it comes to cleaning up. Rumor has it we got that place cleaner than when we got there and the hippy in me is happy for that. Once everything was spic and span I headed home to Aaron, had some pizza, indulged in some adult activities and passed out hard.

Now the Why Lizzy Hates Weddings portion. Ready?

There are a couple of reasons, to be honest. This one wasn't as bad as I've seen. Tammy didn't turn "Bridezilla" which is a term I abhor. Putting a name to a bride being a raging bitch just seems to make it ok, and it's not. "Oh, it's ok, she's just Bridezilla. *snickers*" No. People are working hard to make your event special for you, a little respect and kindness is not too much to ask. So, Reason #1: selfish, spoiled brides. On a more logical level I don't understand this compulsion to spend every drop of your savings on one day when (presumably) you have the whole rest of your lives to worry about. The wedding should not be the most important priority. 50% of marriages fail. It is my belief that the big, expensive celebration should be held off until the couple manages to stay together for no less than 10 years. My mom watches a couple of wedding shows and you've got people spending upwards of $30,000 on their wedding. WTF? Start a college fund or something. Uhm... I'll go ahead and lump in "hour long snore-fest" with Bridezilla because, let's be honest, it's her fault. This is the part where the feminist in me gets to speak up because as much as everyone proclaims "It's the bride's special day", it's really just the most mysogynistic proceeding. What with the escorts and the "giving away" of the bride like she's furniture. I hate that part. "Guess what, sucker, she's your problem now" "Love you daddy" *ugh* Yes, my dad gave me away. The fact that it's part of the bare-bones legal ceremony is even more disgusting. I was going to skip it, but I'd also like to touch on the womanly attire. A white dress is supposed to symbolize purity and it's a big pet peeve of mine how many women want a "traditional" wedding and then have the gall to wear white when everyone knows she left purity behind ages ago. Now, Tammy did good by us with the dresses, but what is up with these snotty women saddling their poor bridesmaids with gawdawful dresses?! That is just.... wretched. These are your friends and making them ugly does not make you look better. Makes you look like a bitch. The job of a bridesmaid is to confuse evil spirits who may come looking for the bride to ruin her day making mischief, but guess what? When 3-4 women are wearing hideous orange taffeta and you're standing there in your stark white lie, the demon knows who you are. Just so many things, ya know? My final word on it is this: Not all weddings are Christian, not all married couples are either. While a wedding ceremony may (or may not) be a religiously inspired event, marriage is a legal, governmentally involved issue. The fact that anyone is allowed to keep gay couples from getting married on the basis of their own religious hangups is an abomination and goes directly against the separation of church and state. If you oppose gay marriage, then don't marry a gay. No one is saying a priest has to perform a ceremony if it's legal; that's the job of the JP or whatever legally approved officiator is willing to do so. *phew*

There's my 2cents plus. Please keep in mind this is my blog and I can say what I want, just like you can say what you want on your own blog. Any gay-bashing comments will be deleted. I'm sure there are thousands of forums designed just for that. Go there if you want to indulge your hate. It's not welcome here.


  1. what was her name? The German teacher? I know it's not THE FRAU lmao but i don't know if we had the same teacher for your grade and mine? I know me and Sandra had German together in 9th grade... my memory sucks so you should ask her if that was her 9th grade German teacher! lmao!

    and dude! what is up with Bridesmaids's dresses messing up the day of the wedding? Mine did that at Missy's wedding...and the dress was a Halter top and the halter button thing broke! And no one had a safety pin! luckily i had a button pin thing in my purse from the Bachlorette party... but it said SLUT on it!! LMAO i turned it around so no one could see what it said

    1. Dude! I don't know! LOL I'll fb ya with the teacher's name, but that dress thing is weird.

  2. "The job of a bridesmaid is to confuse evil spirits who may come looking for the bride to ruin her day making mischief" Could it be the evil spirits screwing up your dresses?

    you look so gorgeous in that dress!! i hope it isn't ruined forever. zippers can be fixed, right? and i'm glad you had fun and didn't die of dehydration. :)

    and i agree with your anti-wedding rant. marriage isn't the problem- it's the way that marriage certificates are written and the bizarre religious and traditional overtones surrounding the ceremony. it's a legal partnership-just like a business or a bank account or any other joint venture- you should be able to negotiate your own conditions and no one should have to give up their constitutional rights or be treated like property. the state of marriage right now makes me wonder why anyone would even want to have one no matter how in love they were, but i also don't think it's okay to try to exclude a third of the population from getting married just cause you don't approve of their partner. that's a job for the in-laws, not the government. :p

    1. Oooh, maybe it was evil spirits. Nichole's zipper was just fine but the dress itself mysteriously got bigger on her way to BLORA. O_o Oh yeah, a zipper can totally be fixed. If I'm unable to get it to work proper I'll put in a metal one. ;) Much sturdier. Marriage should totally be negotiable. This "one size fits all" business is so outdated.


    1. Thanks, darling. *hugs* It just blows my mind how many people think it's their job to interfere in the lives of others. :/ It was a pretty sweet wedding. lol


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