Sunday, July 19, 2009

School Supplies: Good For A Laugh

Every year about this time the stores start stocking up on school supplies. They are kind enough to provide lists for parents as to what they should buy. Because, ya know, it just gets more complicated and more rediculous every year. Always good for a laugh, and a huge groan, for those of us who don't have to worry about such things. In addition to crack-pot policies, these lists really add to my determination to home school; should I ever have little one(s) of my own. This year's random list comes from Eastern Hills Middle School in Harker Heights:

Binder, Heavy Duty 3 inch Zipper Binders will not be accepted (OMG what about Trapper Keepers?)
3 Sets of Dividers
1 pencil case, fabric, 3-hole
(no plastic cases you can launch at your peers)
1 set of washable markers (cuz, ya know, they're just out of elementary school and all)
1 12inch plastic ruler with inches and centimeters (do rulers come any other way?!)
1 package of wide rule notebook paper (all the way up to 8th grade they expect to use wide rule, wtf?!)
1 pkg #2 pencils
1 pkg blue or black ink pens
2 red ink pens
(who ever used red ink minus the teachers?)
1 set of colored pencils
2 highlighters
(holy crap you mean they didn't specify a color? I'm shocked!)
1 pencil sharpener
1 school glue 4oz (8th graders also need 2 glue sticks)
2 Composition Books (no spirals please) (Yes, it really says that)
1 pkg graph paper (yeah, I had to find this too and never used it!)
1 flash drive, USB (Are you freakin' kidding me?!, our diskettes were provided for us)
1 binder style 3-hole punch (Cuz heaven forbid each classroom should have one to share)
1 pkg construction paper
White Out Tape (Are kids sniffing the liquid stuff? Or is it a safety issue all of a sudden?)
1 set of 4 Expo Markers (Kids have to provide dry erase markers?!)

Okay, I have commentary for these next few, which I am taking out of order for this purpose, so they'll be lumped together:
5 packages 3x5 cards (which they are expecting students to give one package to each teacher -_-)
2 boxes of facial tissue
1 box of gallon zip storage bags
(the size of the ziploc bag actually varies depending on what grade they're in)
2 rolls of paper towels
8 wireless Neat Books (2 given to each core teacher)

Seriously? Why do people pay taxes if the students are the ones stocking the classrooms? This is insanity! How 'bout for 8th grade they also expect kids to bring 3 spiral notebooks. Not insane until they specify Red, Blue and Green. 7th & 8th graders should also provide a pair of 5 inch scissors an for some reason only 7th graders are expected to have "One large pink eraser". Okay, I did well in school and none of my supplies were all generic like this. I had Lisa Frank, thank you very much, and it was neither a distraction nor a hinderance. Do you have any idea how expensive those 3-hole punchers are?! I paid $13 for mine and the S&D team shared it. Well . . . the speech team did cuz we needed little notebooks for our poetry and prose. Those weren't cheap either, actually. lol That's why we each had one that we traded out the pages if we competed in more than one event. These school supply lists are quickly transitioning from funny to just plain sad.

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