Thursday, May 7, 2009

Bra Horrors

Hello everyone. How are we today? Good? Good. Well. I was feeling particularly generous to myself today. Not something that happens often. So I decided to get some new clothes. I needed shorts because, well, I don't have any and it's getting pretty hot down here. After picking up my pants at Goodwill a while back I finally have a decent idea of what size I wear in women's clothes so I figured that shouldn't be hard. But we didn't start out going to Goodwill. We started at Walmart. The one nice thing I got from there is a black shirt (size M/L) that is a really nice fabric for $3. And I got a bra. I have not bought myself a new bra in, like, 10 years. The one I have that fits . . . . better, is still too small and so worn out that I punched my thumb through the band about a week ago when I was trying to fasten it. Well, our walmart is renovating. A lot of stuff is being moved around, some stock is being done away with (hopefully momentarily) and a lot is being put on clearance so the shelves are easier to move. A lot of bras were on sale, so I figured "why not?" I mean, I NEED a bra. I love my breasts, but I'm kind of hoping they shrink just a bit as I start losing some weight. Not a lot!! I love having boobs and I don't think I could go back to a C-cup. But I digress.

With all of the stock-moving the "plus size" bras were MIA. Last I measured (or had a bra with an intact tag) I was a 36-38DD. The biggest size available was a 40D. Little known fact, as bad sizes change, the cup size is slightly altered. A simple accomidation so that cups don't run clear around the back of the bra. So 40D shouldn't fit too poorly. It's a Fruit of the Loom bra. With padding. Since apparently it's blasphemy to make a bra without padding for some gawdawful reason. It clasps in the front and has a nifty little loop-hook in the back to X the straps. I like the cotton, better than lace and a seam running straight across my nipple. That's a hassle I will avoid at all costs because it HURTS!

So after that we went to Goodwill and I picked up (the good first) a pair of pajama pants. The ones I've been wearing have a hole in the ass. I can mend them, but these are nice. I don't know what kind of material it is (I guess I can look if anybody just has to know) but they're more loose-flowing. Black with gold-tan-ish moons all over them. The shorts, that was a fiasco. Get this, okay. I'm looking for a pair of size 18 shorts. I know what my thighs look like and I want the legs to come down to at least mid-thigh. No coochie cutters that are going to ride up and expose my fatness. No. 90% of the shorts were 16 and below coming to mid-thigh or 22 and higher mini-short-shorts!! OMFG!! I saw several pairs of 24W daisy dukes!! *vomits* Who are the fatties running around exposing their cellulite? Anyway, all of the 20s were too short so I settled on a decent pair of 16s. They're a little snug, but wearable with a longer shirt.

Back to the bra. The 40D nightmare. Okay, it's not as bad as all that, but I still want to cry. The good is the X-strap conversion. I haven't worn a bra with little straps (bigger bras have wider straps for "comfort") since HS. This one has little straps. Using the X clip is such an improvement!! I can still hardly believe it. It makes between my shoulder blades the load-bearing point and I can hardly feel the straps on my shoulders at all. The padding, I think, is serving it's own purpose. The cups are too small, but the foam gives them some sturdiness so I can loosen the straps and have . . . . like a boob sundae. I have too keep them loose enough so that I don't have quad-boob too noticibly. Although I'm peeking out of the bottom a bit too, so loose fitting shirts for now.

So. What I'm going to do is just as soon as walmart gets their clothing section straightened out (the fitting rooms are sitting exposed like a row of port-o-johns) I'm going to grab as many bras as I can take in, within the range of 38DD - 40DDD and find one that actually honest-to-goodness fits! I don't care if it's $30. All I want is a band that sits snug under the breast and a cup that encapsulates the whole bloody mess. Is that so much to ask?! Yes, I'm fully aware that when I do start losing weight I'm going to have to go through this shit all over again. *sigh* Bras suck. I wonder if I'd have better luck with them if I hadn't burned 'em at the lake . . . . Hehehehehe.

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love hearing from you!