Sunday, June 15, 2008

I Died

I mean . . . "it" died. Aaron almost died, but that's putting the cart before the horse. Let's start at the beginning, shall we?

It seemed a day like any other. Hanging out, doing dishes, playing with the pups, freezing. (that new air conditioner really cranks it out!) Same old, same old. Then, we got talked into going out to Cove to see John and Leila. Well, of course we went. It's been a while, ya know? So we hung out there for a bit. On the way home we stopped by HEB in Cove to pick up supper. Then, disaster struck. Put the key in the ignition, turn, and . . . . nothing. Not so much as a "chug-chug-chug-I'mtryingtostartyouasshole-chug". Super. So I called my mom (cuz it was late and I didn't want to wake up my dad) and she had no idea. So I called my dad. While he's walking me through several steps to trick the van into starting, and also to discern what's wrong with it, a guy stops to render aid. Yay for good samaritans! This guy. Man. Figured out how to work the emergency battery jumper thing and even when that didn't work offered to give us a jump. Hey! Lucky day! HEB sells jumper cables! *boo* Didn't work. That battery was dead-dead-deadskee.

So, what came next? Well, after a few questions to the guy (who amazingly had tons of great answers) and a few more to my dad; we made the great trek from Cove HEB to Cove Wal*Mart to buy a new battery. *groans* Lemme tell you, that walk is no joke! On the way up there I was wearing jellies! So now I have blistery feets. Anyway. We made the walk. At Wal*Mart we got the battery (HEAVY!), a backpack to carry it in (SMART!), some wrenches for the bolts and a pair of sneakers for me.

I know it probably seems like I kiss Aaron's ass a lot in this thing, but he deserves another round of applause! Carried that heavy sumbitch all the way back to HEB. And he installed it. I told him what to do (since dad told me what to do), but he actually did the doing so I wouldn't get B-ZAPPED. Oh, Goddess, then the hard part. I got behind the wheel, turned the key one notch, waited for the gauges (and my heart) to settle, and . . . . it started right up! I was so relieved I about relieved myself all over the seat. As fast as our poor blistered feets could move we gathered everything up, tossed it in the van and hauled ass out of Cove.

Now, to count the blessings that were on our side. 1- We stopped by Wal*Mart on the way into Cove so we already knew their ATM was busted. 2- While we were in HEB I took out the money I'll be needing for the new tires, so we had the money before getting to Wal*Mart with their busted ATM. 3- It was nighttime, so it was far cooler. We never could have made it there (let alone back) in 103 degree hot ass middle of the day. 4- We were together. We've been through a lot together, and this is definitely one of those times where it was such a blessing not to have to go it alone. 5- It, in fact, was the battery and didn't end up being a wasted trip. It could have ended up not working and we're both so glad that it did. Oh yeah! And 6- Neither Elvis nor Jet pooped on the floor! Hurray! And 7- No assholes fucked with us. Ya know, walking around in the middle of the night ain't exactly safe these days.

So there you have it. I tell ya, I never want to have to make that walk, for any reason, ever again. Which reminds me. I wanted to keep an extra set of sneakers (and socks would've been a good idea too) in the van. Just in case.

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