Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Awkward Situation

So, here's how today was supposed to go. I drive mom out to Lampasas, we pick up my niece from school, the three of us get back to Killeen for my mom's appointment, I go home and mom finishes babysitting.

Here's how today went. Got out to Lampasas. Colleen was sick. I'm unsure as to why this had anything to do with there being a carseat available for her, but there wasn't. I got left at my sister's house with the sick kid while my mom went back to Killeen for her appointment. This girl is, like, 3 years old, not potty trained, not talking. And vomity! Supposedly. She didn't throw up the whole time I was there, but she did go through 3 sippy cups of water. And a diaper change. Lucky for her I remember how to do that. Lucky for me she was sick (her whole body was burning hot except her feet which were like ice) and didn't raise hell the whole time I was there. She whined and moaned a bit but mostly slept. In the middle of the floor. Lucky for her I swept it. Yes, I sweep carpet.

In the span of time I had I reread section of "The Circle Within". It's a spiritual Wicca book (religion, ethics, devotions instead of spells and such). I went through the part about dealing with people, especially difficult people. Said that we are (mostly) all just trying to do the best we can with the knowledge that we have. So, rather than bemoan my fate I decided to give my mom the benefit of the doubt that she didn't know Colleen was going to be sick. Decided to let go of the fact that it still didn't make sense that the car seat wasn't there. Instead I was thankful for the time I had to read the book (it's a good book, I've read it full through 3 times) and concentrate on the joy of that beautiful span of Texas highway between Cove and Lampasas.

I used to drive that span frequently during High School. Sometimes to the end of the highway, sometimes clear down to Johnson City. Back before I was so concerned with the economical and ecological ramifications of driving so far so fast. I just let the road ease my mind. I got to drive that span twice each way today. Once in the dark which was also nice. I like driving down a near deserted highway in the dark. Like the road is all mine. All the better out in the country. Cities are too bright and garish. I like the shadows passing by, my headlights casting just enough light to guide me. No stop lights. No traffic. Just me and the road. And even though the day didn't go as planned, and yes I was at first upset, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to do that guilt-free otherwise. And I liked it. A lot.

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