Saturday, November 17, 2007

Stupid Internet

Ever notice how when you're just screwing around looking for something you can easily find exactly what you're looking for; but when you're really trying to look up something important the internet suddenly goes retarded?! You know the information is there, you just don't know where, so you go to your favorite search engine, type in what you're looking for. Then, all of the results end up being porn or those stupid "Hey, lookie the search results we found" pages! What the hell is up with those?! You could go around in circles for hours flipping through those sites cuz none of them lead anywhere!! And what the hell's up with being able to buy anything at eBay or shop.com? I hate to tell 'em, but intangibles are unbuyable on this plane of existence. No matter how badly you may want to sell it. "Buy my refridgerator's smoking Cheap at (fill in the blank)." You know your search has come up empty when all of the sites listed have your keywords strewn in with 20 other "popular search terms" all jumbled up in the description. Hey, people, meta tags are to be used, not abused. I'm not looking for "dog Britney Spears real estate health movie PS3 furniture tickets natural big black cock". Not even close. Even worse than that is when you get a search result for a forum. Hey, look, someone actually asked my exact question, I wonder if they got any answers? You get there, and lo and behold! it's not there. Hey, search engine guys, if you're gonna tease me with a forum result, take me to the bloody page that has the stuff I'm looking for! Don't make me try and guess where something might be in a site I'm unfamiliar with. It's not funny and it's certainly not nice. So which search engine is the best? Puh-leeze. It depends on what you're looking for. And get this, it changes! Oh yeah. Best overall used to be yahoo search, then askjeeves, then back to yahoo, then hotbot, then google . . . now I usually start with yahoo, then try google, then ask, then altavista if nothing else comes up. Unless I'm looking for pictures (or a translation) then I jump straight to altavista. Did ya notice how the engine that powers the little blog add on thingy there is on crack too? I can't find my version of Salem's Lot anymore! How are the 5 or 6 different releases NOT the first five or six results? I think the internet needs to join narc-anon.

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