Friday, July 12, 2013

Bit Ranty

*Warning: Adult language may follow. Also, when I say "you", I don't mean you personally. :p*

It all started simply enough. A stupid picture on facebook proclaiming that "breakups create bodybuilders". Right, right, because in the realm of normal post breakup emotions it's easier to either eat them away or pump iron to forget rather than actually dealing with them. I said as much (because I've really just had enough) and he responds with:

"no because it relieves the hate and leaves you feeling accomplished instead of sitting around mopin about bs....that's the science behind it"

You see that? Hate. What hate? He didn't do the breaking so the only fathomable reason to hate her is ego. She saw it was going nowhere and took off. Good for her, life's too short. Me, personally, I've never experienced hate after a breakup. Sadness, confusion, anger at the situation, sure. But hate? Naw. Try relief because the dead thing is finally dealt with. Breakups are hard, I get that, but be happy it's over so you can move on. Oh, but get this:

"You've never experienced a real relationship then....more of an infatuation or whatever its called...when your heart is truly broken, theres a spark inside that motivates you to do more and to be more for yourself and your loved ones"

Excuse me? Fucking excuse me?! Let's get one thing straight here, my worst relationship lasted almost 7 years (a far cry better than the 7 months (max) he was with that chick) because, hey, some people try to make it work, but at some point you have to realize that it's not going to and you go your separate ways. Even my less serious "relationships", the kind you go in and out of in those teen years, most certainly were not fake. They were learning experience and I just didn't feel the need to jump in feet first and blindfolded proclaiming "Oh, he's the one, we're so much in love" after only knowing each other for two fucking weeks. That, you illiterate jackass, is infatuation. Somehow thinking the skank you're fucking is "wifey" when you haven't even known her a month is infatuation! The kind of love that withstands time and endures hardship and gets stronger is more than that and is not the kind of thing you know after weeks, or even months. Oh, but

"People have different view and different dreams, we live within different confines, some of us have been through and seen things others will never experience!"

Stop acting like you're so much more special than everybody else! Because you're fucking not! If you were so great and had everything all figured out then your daughter wouldn't be living in a broken home while you keep going back to the same fucking psychos you dumb shit! (btw, when the bitch won't stop texting you and you hate it so much, block her fucking number dumbass. Problem sovled) You wanna talk about experience, here's the voice of experience. When Aaron first saw me he says he fell madly in love. (which I don't doubt) Yeah, that's great, but we didn't know each other and I had become accustomed to guys "falling" for me for purely physical reasons. So I gave him a shot. Physically. I kept my heart locked tight for months and told him as much. He perservered and eventually I began letting him in. I didn't even entertain the notion that it could be love until he stuck around (and remained constant in his intent) for six months. But, hey, at that point there was still no indication we'd be compatible living together until we actually did. For six more months before getting married. That's not even half of it. Because an enduring relationship, a real relationship, is not all wine and roses. He lost his job, but I stood by him. Then he got sick, no idea what it was, and I had to accept the very real possibility that he could die (not once, but twice), but I didn't run. I'm not the easiest person in the world to deal with, I lash out and often the craziest things pop out of my mouth before I even know they're in my head, but he doesn't condemn me. We had to deal with the loss of our son (furry son, Elvis) together and it didn't come between us. We work together with a single goal in mind and that is a real relationship.

You want to keep thinking that "infatuation" and "puppy love" and surface appearances are what make a longstanding relationship? Go right the fuck ahead. You can go ahead and be all pissed off and bent out of shape when your "one" really isn't because you don't even know what to look for. By the way, you're not the only one suffering from your bullheadedness. If you knew so much then your daughter wouldn't have to travel from one parent to the other and back. Get your head out of your ass and recognize when people who actually do have experience, and are far more successful at something, are trying to help you and giving you sound advice. That's one of the things that just kills me. I've been married 13 years. I'm much older than he is. Also, you'd never guess by his attitude, but he is not an only child. His little sister has a better grasp on relationships than he does. She's been married for years as well. Oh, but this little motherfucker who doesn't even know the difference between love and infatuation has it all figured out. He's really got a firm grasp on reality. WTFever.

I am in no way saying that relationships that don't work are failures. Quite the contrary, I know full well that sometimes things don't work out. Things happen, people change, sometimes kids get caught in the middle. Sometimes mistakes are made. There is, however, a huge difference between an adult who learns from the experience and accepts the reality and one who goes around acting like they're still a stupid teenager all invincible and all knowing and who's actions affect only him/herself. Yes, I am irate and, perhaps, a bit high and mighty on this topic. Because I do have a very firm grasp on the reality of interpersonal relationships. The serious and casual aspects and the difference between the two. You want to keep living with this deluded, Hollywood version of what you think love is? Go right ahead. Because what's in the movies is only half the story. And not even the important half, just the exciting half that sells tickets. Oh, and while you're also sitting there getting all bent out of shape (and spiteful! lot of hate in that one for a supposed Christian) that people might seriously thing you're gay because of some stupid joke your sister made, chew on this: I've seen no less than three male-male couples who've been together for over 50 years. There are worse things in the world, like being shallow and purposefully ignorant.

I kept my responses to him polite and concise because I know at least part of my venom stems from hormones, but only part. This is one case where I don't have to question whether or not my... oh balls... the word is on the tip of my tongue... indignation is legitimate or stemming from something else. This kind of arrogance would (or should?) appall anybody.

I think I'm done. Interestingly enough my headache is going away. See what I mean? Anger is toxic. ;) Going to take off Solange and go to bed. With any luck I'll wake up early and can finish retrieving this amulet from the grave robbers. lol G'night, y'all.

13 comments:

  1. Uh oh, you've got your ranty pants on ;)

    HA! And just today I had not 2 but 3 FANTASTIC rants about a coworker I find intolerable. Is ranting in the air?

    I've had douches on my fb. In my experience douches are douches. Always think they know everything are sooo much more important/knowledgable than others bla bla bla. I delete them. Or hide them from my news feed. The less trash hanging around my life the better.

    Would you ever consider deleting this person?

    Also I'm very similar to you in taking a while to warm up. I didn't even consider hubz was a 'contender' for long term back when until months and months into the relationship and even then some of me was on guard for the other shoe to drop.

    Maybe if one has been through the wringer, thinking like that is inevitable.

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    1. ROFLMAO! Ranty pants. ;) I can't delete him because he's my cousin, but I'm seriously considering blocking him. My dad will let me know if anything of interest comes up anyway.

      That's exactly what it was. Just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Then it didn't so I figured why not? LOL There are worse things than marrying someone who really does love the hell out of you, eh?

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    2. Hehe! Ranty Pants is one of my fave expressions ^u^

      *nods* exactly :D It's so hard to finally believe 'hey! this person is genuine and loves me' but it does happen! ;)

      Urgh on annoying family! I'd hide him from my news feed if I were you. Or put him on a limited profile if he visits your fb and comments...or hell just block him (but from past experience blocking people ticks them off just as much if not more than deleting them)

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    3. LOL I think it's now my new favorite expression. ;) I hid him from my news feed. My dad's pretty facebook savvy and likes to keep up with all his nieces and nephews (brothers, sisters, cousins etc etc etc lol) through there. So if anything comes up I'm sure he'll let me know.

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  2. Epic rant. I completely get you - I got rid of my personal facebook altogether because I found it rage-inducing. Now I'm pregnant and everything annoys me, so I'm REALLY glad I got rid of it. I still keep a blog one for nail polish chats but that's it. I get you about not letting people in too - I was over 8 years with my husband before I'd even entertain the notion of marriage (which we did get round to doing last year). There's nothing I hate more than that thing you mentioned that guy said up the top there - the assumption that because you don't feel exactly the same way as he does about a particular situation, that your experiences weren't valid. I have a brother in law like that, his problems are worse than everyone else's, his pains are worse, his heartache is worse, he works harder - in reality he's just a miserable little fucker. (sorry).

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    1. *hijackes Lizzy's blog* OMG MissG YES! I freaking HATE (there's that word ;) ) when people are so mememe. I had a fb friend who allllways posted these epic rants about...nonsense. I just don't think fb is the place for a real life rant. Don't put it in your status...just...don't. Anyway he was venting on about 'I hate getting a zillion notifications. Why doesn't fb ask if I want to join a group. I don't care about your stupid charity or group or event don't add me' and on and on. It just set me over the edge. WHY would you post that on your fb status? To passive aggressively bitch out your friends for adding you to something? Just tell them directly!!

      Anyway I posted, he got snippy (it's annoying bla bla bla. Well HELLO irony because *I* think fb status ranting is annoying and that's exactly what he was doing), I hid him from my newsfeed. If he gets more annoying I'll delete him.

      Sure I could try talking things out but in my experience with people like you described 'your experiences aren't valid. their situation is worse' there's just no point. They think they know everything.

      Also have a coworker like that. Had just come back from 2 weeks of vacation and wanted to take a day off before the long weekend (this is a week after she'd got back from vacation) but couldn't because it conflicted with other vacation...other vacation for people who HADN'T had time off in the summer yet. She had a meltdown about 'oh *I* am so inconvenienced'. Give me a break. Inconvenienced for two hours (that' sthe amount of time she got called in for)...AFTER being off 2 weeks. Get over yourself.

      Oh how I wish I could distance myself from coworker as easily as I could fb 'friends'.

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    2. Hey! I got hijacked. :p

      MissG: Congrats! I hope everything turns out well. I've thought about getting rid of it, but sometimes it's the best way to gather family-related information and not all of it is rage-inducing. Eight years, I think, is definitely not uncalled for. My aunt has been living with the same guy ("Uncle" Ron) since I was a kid and I don't think they ever got married. Which I think is better and makes more sense than just jumping into that kind of commitment.

      Norma: OMG I hate (HA!) people like that, too. I mean, how can someone have absolutely no thought for the people around them? Such an inconvenience... -_- *ugh*

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  3. Breakups are always hard. Nothing better than time to heal it.

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  4. I have a cousin like that, but she is also a manipulative whore!! I can't stand her anymore. I blocked her, she got pissy and defriended me. No biggie to me at least I don't have to read about her crappy life anymore. It's hard when you try to be reasonable and they are still thinking with emotion. Oh, and I love it when people get on rants!! So go get your ranty pants on!!! p.s. I like that word too.

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    1. lol I try not to do it often, but when I do it tends to get quite ranty. I have a couple of cousins (and sister...) who are just constantly in and out of relationships and each one is "the one" and they're "totally in love" and blah blah blah. As far as I know they're the ones being manipulated, though, from what I've seen. I just don't understand where this attitude comes from....

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    2. I know what you mean. People throw around the word "in love" too much these days. It took me a while to really love my husband with the love I have for him now. That comes with time and commitment. Commitment and time take a lot of hard work. People want instantaneous these days. My husband pisses me off at least twice a week, but we work through it and move on. We don't just give up.

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    3. omg Exactly. I'd say it was five years before we had a real fight, but we got over it. Don't even remember what it was about. He gets on my nerves almost constantly ("hey, check this out" when I'm clearly typing lol) but there's no one I'd rather have by my side. Certain things you don't find out until years later.

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