Thursday, May 23, 2013

Blog In May: Day 23

Today's prompt:
Things you've learned that school won't teach you

Heh... this probably isn't the best time of the month to ask me this kind of question (if ya catch my drift), but I'll do my best.

This is kind of a tough one. There are a lot of things that people learn in school that isn't necessarily part of a class. There is something, though, that isn't taught and that most people kind of learn wrong during those school days of youth. Finding, selecting and keeping an appropriate mate. I'm not saying I'm some kind of relationship expert, and my kind of relationship isn't appropriate for everybody, but that's kind of my point. Even though long-term relationships aren't necessarily "for life" (a concept which oftentimes either goes ignored or puts way too much pressure on people), they should be treated with ample respect and at least a modicum of thought. People enter into long-term commitments for many reasons, and if two (or in some cases more) people can find an arrangement that works to the benefit of both (or all), then great! It's none of my or anybody else's business. The thing that makes me sad is the staggering number of people who still end up in abusive relationships, people who marry someone based soley on what that person can do for them (and/or what they can turn that person into) and people who get married based on pure superficiality. Marriage is a contract, and as such I believe that selecting an appropriate partner to fit your needs (first discovering who you are and what your needs are) should be taught somewhere other than what most consider "hokey" self-help books. Sure, people change... That's why a marriage license should be like driver's licenses that have to be renewed every five years. If both parties agree that it's not working out anymore... hey, it happens. A working marriage and even "love" as most people view it is not what you see in the movies. I wish... I wish more people realized that. Hrm... Think I got a little off track there. Should have gone with "how to budget your money in today's economy". :p

lol I just re-read that. Try not to read too much into it. I don't like to throw it around (some people find it to be depressive showboating) but my relationship is pretty great, but it took a lot of mistakes before him and a lot of learning and compromising in the time since to get where we are now. Don't let anybody tell you that just because two people love each other that marriage will be easy, because that's not always true. If someone tells you that being married is easy... analyze that relationship to make sure that the person saying so isn't just sitting on the up-side of a lopsided see-saw. I'm not saying it should be hard, but there is inherently some effort required by both (or all) parties and it's important that the effort is worth it.

Tomorrow's prompt:
Your top 3 worst traits

ROFLMAO!! I wish I could bat my eyes and say "I really have no idea *teehee*", but... my mom's always been good about pointing out my traits that other people might find off-putting. I don't mind, because it's always been followed by "just like your ______". Apparently I managed to soak up my entire family tree's worst personality traits into one AWESOME package. According to my mom, anyway. XD

4 comments:

  1. Very good post. You are right, actually my dad tells me that a lot. He is always like, when you are young, you think that as long as you have love, everything will be fine. But as you get older, you realize a lot of other things matter so much more, your common interests, you view on certain things, how you spend money, etc etc. I think a lot of people don't know that, and I feel like a lot of people get into relationships for the wrong reasons. Annywayyys, a class on that stuff could be vitally useful!

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    1. Your dad is very wise. ;) It would at least be helpful if more parents told their children that instead of letting them go off with overly romanticized fairy tale images in their heads.... :/

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  2. Amen. Popular culture absolutely poisons minds on realistic expectations of a partner. And when others find love / a good partnership that works for them but doesn't fit the stereotypical mold of what is okay (for ex homosexual/polyamory) they are treated like dirt.

    Schools should teach people sooo much more than they do. Life skills like you mentioned or even basic things (or things that SHOULD be basic) like what is abuse (including emotional and verbal, not just physical)? What does treating someone with respect actually look like? How to be assertive without being aggressive or bullying etc etc. That stuff, IMHO, is absolutely needed. But so many people just don't get it because it's not taught inside or outside the classroom. Makes me sad that schools focus on something like algebra which, in my humble opinion, is FAR less important or useful than any of those things (and a whole host of other essential 'life skills'!)

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    1. Yes! You put it perfectly. Pop culture poisons people's minds. I wouldn't say get rid of algebra (I LOVE math!), but those kinds of life skills should definitely be part of the curriculum. From the beginning clear to the end, even college courses about how to be an adult after graduation wouldn't be uncalled for.

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