Thursday, August 4, 2011

Tottering

I've been sitting here for about half an hour, knowing I want to blog, but not sure if sharing what's on my mind is really the best thing. That's kind of been the state of things since about mid-day yesterday. We went out to help Aaron's mom move some furniture around and things went well, then not so well and the tension gave me a bit of a mental block. His mom mentioned a couple of times that I'm looking thinner which was nice. Especially since she doesn't see me ever day or every other day. But I was wearing my recently altered jeans so maybe it was all an illusion? I finished watching Princess Jellyfish and it was fantastic, but also fantastically short. So I don't have that to look forward to anymore. I'm going to check out this show (Misfits) that Brak suggested, but I'll probably try to pick up where I left off on Sailor Moon for my cutesy anime fix. Anyway, the heat and furniture moving yesterday led to not doing my strength yesterday like I was supposed to.

I did do yesterday's strength this morning, but then when I went for the cardio (sans bike) I just got so incredibly bored! Usually I can just listen to the music and pretend like I'm on American Idol or at some big karaoke party, but I just wasn't feeling it this morning. I got 15 minutes in. I'll try to get the last half hour done tonight. I just feel so fat! *sigh* Aaron's convinced I have no idea what I look like and that's probably true. I haven't had a full-length mirror since shortly after High School, and shadows probably aren't the best indicator of shape and size. But I can also see it. Mostly in the thigh/gut/arm regions. I hate it and it makes me want to take a blowtorch to myself. . . . ok, maybe not, but close. I don't know if I'll ever get to look the way I want to (I never have before, why start now?), but I'll keep trying and keep working and try to keep in mind the health benefits in case the aesthetics don't quite catch up.

Less than two weeks until the Great Smoothie Detox adventure. I'm so excited and so ready and maybe I'm just hoping so hard that I'll feel something that I'm putting all of my mental eggs in one basket, but. . . . I guess that's just how it is. I was excited about the colon cleanse, too, but after a good start it ended up being rather disappointing. This, I think, is more drastic than that and I'm looking forward to it. Also, yes, I'm hoping that five days of drinking fruits and vegetables exclusively will not result in +2lbs on the scale at the end of the week. *SIGH*

I want to sim. I really, really, REALLY do! I'm afraid. My computer keeps overheating and it takes forever to restart the game and I don't know what I'm going to do after "Sim Search" resolves itself, which will be soon. Maybe I'll repopulate the town and take another crack at the Legacy Challange. I'm afraid of that, too. I won't be able to travel, which sucks, and what if there's some other game ending glitch halfway through? Damn you EA! Making me scared to sim. :(

My dad's vacation is coming up in about two and a half weeks and I have no idea what I'm going to do about the rest of the house. Still need to finish my mom's bathroom, her bedroom and the living room; at least. It just seems like so much and there's so much of my mom's crap just laying around. I don't know what to do with it all and the more I clean the more I see that needs cleaned and the less places there are to put stuff and after a while of seeing the stuff that is cleaned it just doesn't look clean anymore! On the bright side I did get some information while watching Billy the Exterminator that should help get this bug problem under control. *fingers crossed* Still don't know what we're going to do about the plumbing . . . or the fridge . . . or the insane heat. . . .

So, I guess I've been feeling a little overwhelmed. So many problems that are all still so big in spite of all the work I've put into them. This morning I got this link sent to my inbox. It's about goal setting do's and don'ts. I don't know if those apostrophes are correct, but that's where they put them. I'm not a terrible goal setter. I can look at the little steps, sure. But when the "problem" doesn't appear to get any smaller. . . . it's rough. At least I finally remembered raisins for my oatmeal with the combined help of Brak and Aaron.

2 comments:

  1. go team raisin! :p
    sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed. i really wish i could just pick you up and set you down in a different house with a different life and a full fleet of maids and butlers and gardeners and personal trainers, etc to help you out.
    you are an excellent goal setter, but i know it is hard when you feel like you are running as fast as you can just to stay in place. and shame on EA for leaving you simless in times like these!

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  2. *tackle hugs* I know you know and I'm kinda glad you do even though I know it sucks worse for you. I did get a little simming in, I'm going to try and wrap it up real quick and then spend the rest of the day just watching tv on the computer. Tomorrow I can get back into the grind.

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